My Journey:
Coming Into Unexpected Wealth
Written by Alana Santarelli
When my grandfather passed away, it was a tough time for the whole family. While we were still coming to terms with his passing, we found out that he had left an inheritance for all of his grandchildren. It was a shock, to say the least.
Suddenly, we were all presenting with an unexpected financial opportunity that we hadn’t prepared for. There were so many emotions tied up in this inheritance. My grandfather had worked hard his whole life. He came to the US as a young boy who had to learn English while also mourning the untimely passing of his parents. Now, my cousins and I were presented with a portion of his legacy, something he had saved and sacrificed for.
The Reality of Unexpected Wealth
As I began researching “what to do with an inheritance” I saw a lot of information on what not to do! I was seeing studies that showed most inheritances were completely spent within ten years of receiving it. From buying new things, to paying down debt, I could see how it would be easy to spend all the newfound money. The financial industry even has a term for this: sudden wealth syndrome. It’s not uncommon for people who come into unexpected money to experience confusion, anxiety, or even guilt about how to handle it.
The emotions that were tied up in this money were something else I did not initially expect. My grandfather always lived by modest means. Yet he presented my family with such an incredible gift, and one none of us anticipated. I wanted to make sure his legacy continued to grow through how I chose to allocate these funds.
Where to Start: Spend, Save, Share?
When you receive an inheritance, it’s tempting to think about all the things you can immediately spend it on. Trust me, I had my eye on a few big-ticket items, but I also realized this wasn’t money to blow through. It was something that could really help me fast-track some of my financial goals if I handled it wisely; things like buying real estate, and establishing an investment portfolio.
I started to think about the best way to use my portion of the inheritance. Should I save it for the future? Invest it to grow over time? Maybe share some with causes that mattered to my grandfather or put some toward family needs? It was a lot to consider, and I knew I wasn’t equipped to make all these decisions on my own. That’s when I decided to reach out to a financial advisor, someone who could help me make sense of it all and ensure I made the best choices for my future.
Working with a Financial Advisor
One of the first things my financial advisor did was sit down with me to really understand my goals. They didn’t just ask about what I wanted to do with the inheritance—they took a holistic look at my financial picture, from my current savings and debt to my future aspirations. They asked questions I hadn’t even considered, like how much I wanted to set aside for future investments versus more immediate needs, and what kind of financial safety net I felt comfortable with.
Together, we broke down the three key areas for managing the inheritance: saving, spending, and sharing. My advisor made it clear that the way I moved the money needed to reflect what I valued most and what would benefit me long-term.
Balancing My Career and Personal Life
As any working mom knows, it is tough to balance it all. I had high aspirations for my career—I was looking at a promotion, but I also needed to be there for my child. This was a difficult transition for not just me, but for them as well. I needed to show up and be present for them. I was fortunate to have a strong support network of friends and family that I could lean on. Learning to enforce strong boundaries on my time was crucial during the divorce process. I learned that ruthless prioritization was key. I streamlined my workload, focusing on high-impact projects and delegating where possible. I was able to find others in my professional network who had been through similar experiences who offered invaluable advice and emotional support.
My Finances After Divorce
Now several years post-divorce, everything is different. I have a clear understanding of my assets and investment strategy, a robust retirement plan that accounts for my new circumstances, a comprehensive insurance and estate plan to protect my child’s future, and am now the CEO of my own company! Research shows that nearly 39% of individuals undergoing a divorce believe overall, the decision to divorce has had a positive impact on their job, work, or career. In my case, it was certainly true and helped provide a silver lining to some of the other difficulties of the process.
Lessons Learned from Divorce and Advice for Others
For other breadwinners and professional women facing divorce, I’d offer this advice:
- Don’t assume you can do this yourself. Given the complicated, stressful, and emotional nature of the process, having someone with a clear mind help you approach this is paramount. Please seek specialized help.
- Educate yourself on the full value of your compensation package, including non-cash benefits so you can maximize what is offered.
- Consider the long-term implications of asset division, and go for fair and reasonable in your negotiations. This does not necessarily mean 50/50 in all cases.
- Invest time into your financial education despite your busy schedule. It pays dividends.
About the Author
Lacy Garcia is the Founder & CEO of Willow (trustwillow.com), a platform that connects Women and NextGen individuals with vetted and trusted fiduciary financial advisors. She is mom to her son and elderly dog. living on the North Shore of MA.
About Willow
Willow connects you with vetted financial advisors who truly understand the big moments in life—like buying a home, navigating career changes, or going through a divorce. It’s not just about finding any advisor, but about building a meaningful, long-term relationship with someone who gets your goals and challenges. Using a concierge matchmaking approach, Willow ensures you feel confident and empowered as you plan for whatever life throws your way, making financial advice feel less transactional and more like finding the right partner for your journey.
Below are references for what I have shared:
- National Endowment for Financial Education. “2 in 5 Americans Admit to Financial Infidelity against Their Partner.” *National Endowment for Financial Education*, 16 Nov. 2021, www.nefe.org/news/2021/11/2-in-5-americans-admit-to-financial-infidelity-against-their-partner.aspx.
- Oakley, Diane. *The Retirement Savings Crisis: Is It Worse than We Think?* National Institute on Retirement Security, 3 June 2013, www.nirsonline.org/reports/the-retirement-savings-crisis-is-it-worse-than-we-think.
- Employee Benefit Research Institute. *Women’s Retirement Confidence Suffering from COVID-19 Pandemic’s Economic Impact.* Employee Benefit Research Institute, 8 June 2020, www.ebri.org/docs/default-source/pbriefs/ebri_ib_507_womenrcs-8jun20.pdf?sfvrsn=369a3d2f_4.
- Hyland, Michael M. “The Effects of Divorce on Career Outcomes: Evidence from a National Study.” *Personnel Psychology*, vol. 75, no. 2, 2022, onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/peps.12547.
- Robertson Law Firm. “The Dangers of Dishonesty during Divorce Property Division.” *Robertson Law Firm*, www.robertson-law-firm.com/articles/the-dangers-of-dishonesty-during-divorce-property-division. Accessed 29 Aug. 2024.
- Sobel, Laura. “Dividing Assets When Marriage Ends: Tax Implications.” *The Tax Adviser*, Dec. 2022, www.thetaxadviser.com/issues/2022/dec/dividing-assets-when-marriage-ends-tax-implications.html.
- Schy, Lauren. “Women Face a Financial Literacy Gender Gap.” *USC Dornsife College of Letters, Arts and Sciences*, 8 Mar. 2023, dornsife.usc.edu/news/stories/financial-literacy-gender-gap.
- HelpAge USA. *A New Approach to Gender and Financial Security: Promoting Financial Education for Older Women.* HelpAge USA, June 2023, helpageusa.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/Report-V3-updated.pdf.
